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Questions

Capture or Wonder?

Sometimes I get so hyped up, so excited about life and God that my mind seems to explode with ideas.
In these times I feel overwhelmed to be honest.  It feels as though I’m having an important thought every minute or so, and if I’m not quick to capture it, I will lose it forever.  
It’s an urge to capture all of my ideas in print before they escape.

The problem is that in those times when my brain explodes, I rarely am able to capture them all.  Instead many ideas fade into the background as another one explodes into the foreground.  I’ll be honest, I can feel a little panicked when this is happening.  Almost as if I’m wasting this surge of creativity, and what happens if this is the last explosion I get for a very long time?  

What can I do about this?  

Well as I sit and think in sobre judgement about it the first thing that comes to mind is that  my desire to fill the universe with my thoughts on life may be a touch misguided and more than a touch arrogant.  The second thing that begins to calm me down, and thus allow me to sleep on these nights, is that those thoughts that I absolutely NEED to remember will come again.  Anything really important will be thought again.

Then I wonder, well then what’s the use of those explosions?  If I can’t inform the world of my brilliance, or even take the necessary time to dig into those thoughts myself, then what’s the point?  

Even as I write this post the answer became clear…wonder wants in.
It is easy to lose our sense of wonder when we are engaged with the things of God all day every day.  We begin to think of the supernatural as the natural, infinity as a fact, mystery as an inevitability, and thus lock wonder out of our sterile environment.  

Wonder wants in.

Wonder at the hugeness of life, and the smallness of life.  At the simplicity of life, and the complexity of life.  At the beauty of 1 well thought out and implemented idea, and the infinate possibility for creativity and variety.  Wonder is experiencing that which we can’t grab hold of, and that is what I experience when my mind explodes.  I can’t quite grab hold of the thoughts but I know they’re out there, juicy truths waiting to tasted.  Just out of my reach, but beckoning me to continue the search, to cultivate the passion for more.  Wonder keeps us playing. 

Wonder wants in.

Discussion

One comment for “Capture or Wonder?”

  1. Stephen, your thoughts have often left me ‘wondering’. The way you process your thoughts and write them down leave me pondering your words for the rest of the day…correction…God’s words through you. You’re right, it’s impossible to put into words those thoughts of God and the reality of life with Him that make us truly thrilled and excited. But the attempt to do so keeps us moving forward. Thank you for expressing your thoughts on wonder. You’re absolutely right.

    Posted by Jenny | April 4, 2009, 11:04 am

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