I feel guilty.

 That would be the twitter entry from the conference I attended last week in which 15 pastors, in their first pastorate, reflected on their experience thus far and received teaching and instruction from leaders in the Mennonite Church. 

I feel overwhelmed. 

That was the overwhelming reason for the guilt, as pastor after pastor shared their stories of feeling overworked, underappreciated, and stressed out.   Single pastor churches seem like unquenchable fires, and single pastors seem to be armed with water balloons.  Moreover, a pastor by nature is moved to love and care for the congregation, and often the more they are successful, the more time and energy that care requires.  Feeling overwhelmed with all the work that ‘just doesn’t get done’ appears symptomatic of the office of Pastor and that was very clear as the 15 new pastors reflected.

I feel my pastoral identity when I preach.  

There is hope, however, as every pastor who assembled shared personal stories of feeling empowered by the Holy Spirit, and operating in the office of Pastor.  Most of these authoritative moments came from preaching, a fewer from leading projects, and fewer still from counselling or spiritually directing parishioners.  The authority and identity felt when preaching coincides with the Anabaptist (of which camp Mennonites pitch their tent) belief that the Word is the authority and not any individual.  There was talk from the leadership that perhaps the doctrine of the ‘Priesthood of all Believers’ has done the church a disservice by devaluing the authoritative voice that the office of Pastor should hold in a congregation.  Pastors without a sense of authority and identity will be hesitant to speak against ills in their congregation, be less willing to take on the role of visionary leader, and begin to resent their positions as having all of the responsibility and yet none of the power.  
How can pastoral identity be shaped in our congregations?  How can pastors feel their Spirit given authority, and how can congregations be taught that that is okay?  

These are just a few of my reflections on a unique, once in a lifetime, experience.  15 unique pastors in their first pastoral positions, from different geographical areas, distinct congregational settings, varying leadership structures, and varying stages in life; all saying very similar things about their experience of Pastoring.  

³⁶When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. ³⁷Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. ³⁸Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”  Matthew 9:36-38 (New International Version)